Well douche your snatch and let's go!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
