he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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