The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
