We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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