Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize