If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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