He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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