i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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