So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
