It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He passed out mid-signature
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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