Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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