I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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