how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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