Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
