And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
