We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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