I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
