i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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