dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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