Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
