Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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