Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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