It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
