i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
