So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
