Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
