We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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