So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
