Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
