So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
