When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
