u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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