It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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