omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
