I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
