I won't be sarcastic... just naked
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
