i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
