I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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