If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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