OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
