yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
