Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
