Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
