At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she pinky promised me she was 18
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize