Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
