Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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