1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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