well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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