...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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