Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
