Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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