Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
