I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize