I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
