No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
