I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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