i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
