the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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