Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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