basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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