she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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