I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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