it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
