I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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