this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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