Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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